I'm creative, but don't expect me to be neat...

It's been over a week since my last post!Procrastination at its finest(or worst). I swear this past week has been like test week. Let's recap on all the wonderful tests and/or quizzes I've taken:an algebra 2/trig test, a u.s. history test, a Latin Scripta quiz, a Latin Chapter 2 vocab quiz, SAT10 test(two for math, two for Reading and Comprehension), Four Spanish quizzes(two for each list of vocab words), and yes, I have at least one more quiz to go. Oh, and we can't forget certification. Yay. I'm going to be a glorified errand girl. Okay, so I'll be more than that. I'm part of the Lights crew for my high school's Drama. Which means getting certified as a lights techie. Which means just getting certified for the spot lights.Joy.And when I can use the board by myself, I can get paid to do other events.Sweet. My friend SM has been MIA for the past week. It's been bugging me and K a lot. We made this funny and angry rant of doom on her voicemail. For some odd reason I've picked up knitting again.Odd, yes, I know, but it is really addictive.Even though it's lumpy and so deformulateder that it bears no resemblance to the beginnings of a scarf.Nur.Meh. My desk's getting messy again. My dad is so gonna yell at me. He just doesn't understand the inner workings of a good mess. Big brother G called today. Said he was cold.Gee, I wonder why, he's only living in North Dakota without a heavy jacket. Alas, me being the wonderful sister that I am offered to knit a scarf.That'll only take a couple of months.Bring on the flippers.Oh, and some words of wisdom are:"Do not follow my footsteps for I run into walls." "Genius is border to insanity, and insanity drives the sane away" "everybody is somebody else's weirdo" Since the time I have to go to sleep is near in order for me to get at least 7 hours of sleep, I bid you adieu and in the words of my Earth Science teacher,"Like, stars, dude, twinkle, twinkle."

Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blow of life

Normally, I would keep this blog light hearted and as crazy as can be. One would think a bowl of ice cream(chocolate chip cookie dough,BTW) would induce me into a sugar frenzy high, but alas, it's the opposite. Sometimes I just get all broody and reflective and I'm not exactly "here". Like right now. My mum expects so much of me and expects me to be all "mature" and totally opposite of my brother that it's not possible. My Latin teacher told us that we all wear personas and that there's something wrong if you have two different personas, one around your friends and one around your family. That's what it feel to me. Like I can't be myself around anyone. I'm not sweet, I'm not so innocent, and I'm definitely not as smart as they want me to be. Everyone expects a teenager to be rebellious and rowdy and whatnot,but then they turn around and expect us to be smart and mature "young adults." What if I don't want to be a "young adult" yet? But as soon as a teenager tries to not do what he or she is told, they're labeled as bad and rebellious.We can't be a teenager and young adult at once. And my parents definitely expect me to be a young adult who always does what she is told to. And the thing is, I'm oddly jealous of my brother. He got to do whatever he wanted, no matter the consequences, without worrying about being likened to someone else. My parents didn't expect a lot out of him, even if they did complain about him not going anywhere in life. Me, I'm constantly being scrutinized about everything I do and if I get "out of hand," they tell me I'm starting to act like my brother. No matter what I do, it's barely good enough for them, I could always do better. I'm always being compared to someone. It's either, "you should do track, you're father was on the track team in high school." Or it's,"You're going to end up like your brother if you don't join a club or sports team. Colleges look at what you're involved in. Briana(my old friend that stopped talking to me) is in the SCA and field Hockey. Try to be more like her." And it just so happens that when I do do something, Drama, my mum could never pick me up. Apparently, her work is more important. I'm not saying that she ignores me, but it's times like that when I really do try for something that she's never there when I need her. And she would complain about having to make time up at work for getting off early.My brother was the one that picked me up on most days. He scheduled his work around the time he had to pick me up. He didn't complain one bit. I don't want you to think I don't love my parents or they don't love me. Because I do, and they love me too. But I can't help but be bitter about stuff. My dad has never been to my school concerts before. And my mum went to my ensemble once, but complained about the wait and how she had more work to do. My Pastor at church once said that God was supposed to be a parent, always giving and never expecting anything in return and that we should always turn to him and not think he expects something back. Is it my fault that that's not how I feel about my parents? That they do expect something out of me and sometimes what I do isn't enough. I can tell that they are disappointed at me.It comes out when my mum says I shouldn't be getting a B in Orchestra and I should practice more on top of all the homework I have.Sometimes trying isn't enough. And a lot of times I wish I could tell them how I really feel, instead of hiding behind a persona that isn't me. Because the fact of the matter is,is that I'm scared of how they'll react if I do. The little things I do can set them off, more so my dad. Because sometimes I remind them of what they see as a failure, a loss cause, my brother. Because sometimes being me isn't enough. And I really don't have a clue who I am. I'm not the kind, smart, and really messy girl that my parents know and try to change. And sometimes I'm not the insane,really slow, sarcastic and slightly callous girl my friends know. At least they understand there's someone underneath all that. If only I could see what they see. Because I don't know who I really am.If wishes were fishes, I'd have a lakeful by now. The way I see it, laughing is the only way to keep everyone at a distance and from being disappointed at me. Like the title says, it's the shock absorber that eases the blow of life.As long as I keep laughing, it doesn't hurt that much and I can fool myself for another day.

In which I get mushy and over protective...

Another week of school. Urgg... On a plus note, I'm going to New York City to see Spamalot with the Drama Club and either Hairspray or Mama Mia. And when we're not watching one of the plays, we get to go where ever we want in NYC. It's going to be so cool. And I'll have my best bud S there with me. Watch out NYC! I swear I was going to die because of my homework. Hrmm.... death by Homework, not exactly nice. Like Alg2/trig. The Bane of All Evil. I did 3 hours alone for it each time I had that class. I kid you not. And I get to help out old people next week for the IBSO( International Baccalaureate Student Organization)(Isn't it such a long title?) Anyfoo, I have to do community service and what better way than by with a school sanctioned club?Joy. So long as they don't make me drink prune juice, I'll be a happy camper at the retirement home. Surprisingly, I was really protective and mother henning of my friend today. She passed out because she didn't eat much and went to P.E. and I went all angry Q with the whole ranting about Stupid Idiotic People Who Can't Do Their Jobs.I was, dare I say it, concerned. I mean, K passed out in the middle of the hall during class and no one saw her, not even the guys who watch the cameras?? And that janitor was so mean to her. The lady told her to go to the nurse, when K didn't even know where it was. Can I say rude, much. *grumbles* Obviously Dumber McStupid doesn't care much.Meh. They should be glad I don't go to K's school......Anydoo.......Soylent Green is made of People. Remember that. It'll save your life. Oh, and I'll have a quote or two with every post so you can bask in my glorious quoting knowledge....Por Ejemplo(for example, oh ye of little Spanish)In a world of Cheerios, be a Fruitloop. Wise words.Wise Words.Another:A good friend is someone that will come to the jailhouse to bail you out. But best friend is the one that is sitting next to you saying,"Damn....That was fun." One last one to make you think:Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think. Very true, very true. Peace and Cheese

Confunding people is what I do.....

So this is my first ever blog...yay. This will be the going ons of my life as a high schooler. Insanity ensues in big neon highlighter shirts :) There will be a lot of inside jokes from the good ol' days of middle school. Muahaha. So, basically this is just the inner ramblings of me. If you happen to actually stumble upon this.. Hi! Hola!Konnichiwa! Glad you have stumbled upon this and I hope you enjoy the dry humor and things-that-are-only-funny-if-you-were-there jokes.It's what I do. My friends will attest to that. Salutations and duct tape!